“Building Trust as a Powerful Tool for Success”

I don’t know how to make this better/ 
body paragraphs should defend the solution but it is just introducing the solution.  and the thesis sentence got the comment “This has nothing to do with trust, specifically. Or at least you don’t say that. You were leading up to a thesis about trust, but this is more about how to use it as a tool”
The last body paragraph should be the counter-argument paragraph.